Casualties of Jealousy
by sammyiammy
Summary: Technically, Katie and George were never 'together.' That doesn't stop George from wanting to murder Cormac McLaggen when he asks Katie to Hogsmeade. It's even worse when she says yes. Katie/George with Fred/Angelina, Alicia/dreams of Oliver.
1. The Game Is Afoot

Katie managed to ignore the crumpled-up balls of paper hitting the back of her head for the better part of her free period. Dumbledore had - or, at least, they were told Dumbledore had - relocated all study periods to the Great Hall, to "ensure that they are used to their maximum potential." Apparently, someone's full potential was throwing things at her. Generally, she would have gotten up and shoved the little projectiles back into the face of the offender, but she had decided to concentrate on her essay for Potions. Also, McGonagall had been tasked with watching over the whole production and seemed none too pleased with having to give up her own free time. Katie kept her head down. It was her last class, she reminded herself, and she didn't need any more detentions. She could make it through five more minutes.

The bell sounded and she was up, stuffing her things into her bag with little concern for their well-being. Before she could make it to the Entrance Hall, someone grabbed her from behind. In seconds, her face and torso were squashed into a hard chest and stomach. Rather than attempt to get away, she allowed herself to be more or less carried along. This sort of thing had happened enough over the years that she knew resistance was futile.

"Good afternoon, Katie my love. Have a nice study session?"

She mumbled something non-committal. George pulled her closer, if that was possible, and rested his chin on the top of her head. As Katie was a bit hindered by being hugged like she was a recently released kidnapping victim, he led the way through the huge front doors and onto the sunny lawn.

"So, I have a proposal for you," he said loudly. A few other people nearby pretended not to have heard him. "The first Hogsmeade weekend's coming up-"

"In a month," said Katie.

George acted as though she hadn't said anything. "Are we starting at Honeyduke's as usual? Or shall we skip right to shagging behind the Three Broomsticks?"

"No." Katie forced a hand between them and tried to manoeuvre herself to the point where she could move her neck freely.

With what seemed an awful lot like delight, George tightened his grip, trapping her hand against his chest. "We'll save the shagging for the dormitory, then?"

A long moment passed by in silence. When it seemed certain that Katie wasn't going to answer, George stopped walking. They were almost dead centre on the lawn, acting as a rock in the sea of students enjoying the good weather while it lasted. Katie could suddenly breathe again; George had gone from crushing her to holding her in a rather intimate hug. She stared steadfastly at the stripes on his tie. Somehow, even after he directed her face towards his own, she continued to look at his tie.

George's voice was a little quieter now. "What's wrong, Katie?"

The scarlet on his tie was starting to hurt her eyes. She flicked her gaze up to the sky and focused on a particularly fluffy cloud. Acting like she hadn't seen the worry in George's eyes didn't work out so well for her. The clouds above them looked like they were crying. Upon thinking that, Katie mentally slapped herself. Crying clouds would be raining, which they clearly were not doing. If the rest of the year was going to be filled with her making stupid observations, she was going to give up right then.

George removed one of his hands from around her waist and ran his fingers through her hair, covertly moving their faces close enough together that she couldn't actually look anywhere but at him. It would have been almost romantic if he hadn't started speaking entirely too loudly for his voice to be directed at someone whose ears were about half of a foot away from his mouth.

"Katie. Katie. Katie Bell. Katherine Bell." He raised a thick red eyebrow and attempted to level her with a serious look. "If you don't answer soon, I'll be forced to use your middle name."

If he really wanted an answer, he sure as hell was going to get one.

"Cormac asked me out yesterday."

"Your point being?"

There was a freckle right near George's tear duct that Katie had never noticed before. She decided directing any and all further statements towards it would work out better than looking George in the eye. Or the face in general, as it was probably going to turn maroon very soon.

"I'm going with him." The quizzical eyebrow stayed up. He looked a little like she had just started speaking Greek. "To Hogsmeade. First weekend in October." Still Greek. "On a date, George. Cormac asked me out and I said yes."

"McLaggen is going on a date with you." Apparently, she had switched back to English without realising it.

Colour started to rise in his cheeks. She had called it.

"I just said that," Katie mumbled. There was another very interesting freckle by his right nostril. Unfortunately, the fact that she was being crushed against him again was making it hard to focus on it. He didn't seem to notice her breathing issues.

After much consideration and rocking them both from side to side, he said, "It's because he spends more time on his abs than I do, isn't it?"

"George," she started, sounding much more irritable than was normal for that early in the term.

Fred picked that moment to come bounding up to them, a very brightly coloured flier sticking out from his pocket and a mad gleam in his eyes. Nothing good could possibly come from that combination. "Hullo, Katie Kate!"

She couldn't help but sigh. "Hi."

Much louder than was necessary, he said, "Gred, when you're done groping our Chaser in a public place - and I think you should take all of the time you need for that. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity - I need your assistance in the common room. Ickle firsties to corrupt and all that."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Fred headed back towards the castle, buoyed with excitement, and George pressed a kiss to Katie's forehead against her will and released her. "See you."

**All characters belong to JK Rowling. Thank you for reading and check back for the next chapter too!**


	2. A Parting Shot

Classes the next morning made Katie want to bash her head against a desk. Three days in and there was already nothing to do. Her situation wasn't helped by the fact that every time she stopped having coursework-related things to think about her head filled with images of George and the looks he had been shooting her the whole night before. For someone who was generally inordinately cheery, he had not been in a good mood after hearing that Cormac McLaggen was in the process of spiriting her away. Not even recruiting young children to use as lab rats had helped with his sudden bout of grouchiness.

Which made his large smile at lunch even more surprising. Not even Cormac walking by and slapping her on the arse as she was sitting down made it disappear. George did, however, raise an eyebrow and mouth "charmer" at her from across the table.

Alicia sat directly next to her and was barely fazed by the whole borderline harassment thing. She was too busy picking wilted lettuce from her salad. Actually, Katie noted with some amusement, none of the pieces she had taken out were actually wilted, just a darker colour. Or spinach, maybe. She didn't spend enough time examining greens to be able to spot the difference.

When George and Fred started consulting with a third year about an unfortunate facial rash brought about by one of their candies, Alicia looked up from her little health project and said, "He asked me on a date this morning."

Clearly, Katie's mouthful of chips was impeding her hearing, because Alicia's casual comment hadn't made any sense at all. Her slightly stunned silence seemed to encourage Alicia to continue.

"In the middle of Potions he leaned over and said, 'Oi, Alicia,'" she briefly examined a carrot before continuing. "And then I answered, 'What George?' And he goes, 'How would you like to meet me in the Astronomy tower tonight?' And I said, 'You don't take Astronomy and I don't have it tonight.' And he said, 'Learning was not my intention,' which I answered with, 'Ew.' And then the bell rang."

Katie stared blankly at her for a few seconds. "You are the worst storyteller ever."

Before Alicia could start with her clearly offended answer, Angelina leaned forward so she could see Katie around the indignant blonde girl between them and assured her, "That's not actually what he said, just so you know."

"Oh," said Katie. She took a brief glance at the ketchup she had spilled on the linen during Alicia's tale and decided not to do anything about it. "Good."

"Although he did use an Astronomy tower line."

"Told you!"Alicia cut in.

"But it wasn't _that_ terrible," finished Angelina. She glanced at the back of Fred's head - he was now having an animated conversation with Lee - clearly thinking that she had the suaver twin. Not that Katie had the other one. All that much.

"Whatever," said Alicia flatly. She returned to sorting her salad, now taking out little purple and and white things that Katie vaguely recognized as radishes. "The point is that he was hitting on me." After finding and eating a satisfactory radish, she added, "And then on Marietta Edgecombe after class, which actually worked. She agreed to let him in her pants for the low, low price of him being his very vaguely attractive self and her being a whore."

Katie took a deep breath through her nose. "Fine. Cormac's been after me since last winter, so George is perfectly welcome to go for anyone he wants to."

"Except for Alicia," Angelina corrected her. "Because it's kind of creepy."

Alicia perked up and said, "Besides, I'm with Oliver."

"Not really," said Katie. "Hasn't he been shagging Penelope Clearwater since she and Percy broke up?"

"Shh," said Alicia, putting her finger against Katie's lips and pinning them closed. "True love can't be stopped by blonde slags who throw themselves on professional Quidditch players."

Angelina looked skeptical. "When he told us the story, it didn't really sound like-" She was cut off mid-sentence by the index finger of Alicia's other hand.

Alicia probably would have gone off on the downsides of people with curly hair had Lee not turned around and noticed their odd positions. "The hell are you doing?"

"Talking about true love," answered Alicia, deadpan.

Fred and George turned around as well. They looked more amused than anything else. Katie made a point not to look at the older of the two. The one she could bear the sight of grinned and guessed, "Woody?"

"Oliver," corrected Alicia hotly, pressing harder into the other girls' lips. Angelina grabbed onto her thin wrist and put it forcibly back onto the table.

"Woody seems more appropriate," said Fred.

George smirked and added, "Considering he came onto you-"

"In the locker room after practice-"

"Even though he was naked-"

"And you were on your way to the shower."

Katie swallowed the last bite of her chips. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of Lee trying yet again to force the image of a naked Oliver Wood out of his head. He'd always had a very overactive imagination. His smirk a little larger, George said, "Good old Woody. He always thought with his brain on the pitch and his prick everywhere else."

"Which is something you know all about," said Katie offhandedly. She was now taking about as much interest in her food as Alicia was.

Fred answered before George got a chance to. "Woody's sexual proclivities? I'm not sure who you heard that from, though it was probably Lee here, but I assure you that we deal exclusively with the fairer sex."

As always, Katie was subtle as a brick. Without looking up, she said, "Such as Marietta Edgecombe?"

"I have never so much as snogged Marietta," said Fred, crossing his heart with a finger.

Lee amended, "For too long." He became quiet and very invested in his sandwich shortly after Angelina shot him a look that could only be described as terrifying.

"I have," said George. Voluntarily and for the first time since she had sat down, Katie looked directly at him. There was an innocent smile fit for a young nun about his lips. "And we were neither inebriated nor at a celebration of any sort, least of all Quidditch."

Katie's jaw clenched. Her grip on her glass of water tightened. Alicia looked on wide-eyed, much more interested in the brewing argument than in the piles of vegetables before her.

As calmly as she could manage, Katie said, "Get bent."

Normally, George would have answered, _With pleasure._ This time, however, he went with, "I would, but that might make you even more jealous."

Katie slammed her glass down, slopping water onto the linen to go with the ketchup. "I wouldn't be jealous if you were the centre of an eightsome on the front lawn."

"I'll take that as yes, it would," George grinned.

Without acknowledging that last comment, Katie got up, slung her bag over her shoulder, and left the Great Hall like she was off to murder someone. As she went, she heard Angelina say brightly to George, "You're an idiot!"

**Thank you again for reading! A new chapter will be up... when I figure out how best to portray Cormac... Yes.**


	3. Bluffing All Around

"You know, you're very attractive when you're angry."

Katie sat, shoes off and jumper somewhere nearby, on Cormac's lap. He had a heavily muscled arm around her waist, preventing any attempts at escape. Generally she would have been thoroughly annoyed about how high on her thigh his free hand was, but she was doing her best to keep those feelings at bay. After all, he was warm and her tee shirt wasn't doing a thing to protect her from the draft that occasionally came from the portrait hole. The fact that he was amazingly fit wasn't hurting his cause, either. Superficiality was winning over morality for the moment and, if she could manage to pretend he was someone more likeable, it would probably keep winning.

"Am I?" asked Katie. She was fairly amused by the concept. When provoked, she tended to go a bit postal.

"Very," answered Cormac, pulling her a bit closer. The portrait hole had opened again, sending a cold current of air past them. "If we hadn't been surrounded by people, I would have done you right then and there. Though, that might have made you a few enemies amongst the other girls, so maybe it's for the best we didn't, yeah?"

The one downside of Cormac McLaggen: he was a self-centred, constantly horny jackass. Obnoxious, as well. But attractive.

Rather than answer - because, honestly, what was she supposed to say to that? Thank you? Too bad, because it could have been amazing? - Katie toyed with a button on his shirt. That was all of the encouragement he needed to change the topic completely and start regaling her with the tale of his hunting trip a few weeks before. All she could force herself to listen to was, "I was in the Black Forest with Rufus Scrimgeour and my uncle Tiberius..." Katie quickly discovered that if she didn't listen to the words, his voice was actually quite pleasant. It wasn't anything like the one she hadn't heard since she'd stormed out of the Great Hall, which tended to switch volume dramatically in the middle of sentences and deafen all bystanders.

Speak of the Devil. On the heels of the latest draft came George, smirking like he'd just been knighted. Katie rested her head on Cormac's shoulder - he began speaking more enthusiastically, convinced that she was so enthralled with his story that she could no longer focus on keeping her head up - and tried very hard not to let the recently arrived ginger know she had noticed him. If she didn't look at him, maybe he would just go back to whatever corner of hell he'd spawned from. She lasted almost half of a minute. With as much subtlety as was possible, she glanced over towards the opposite corner of the room.

George had joined Fred and Lee at a very small table with what looked like a very live, very nervous bird on it. Even from her remote viewpoint, Katie could see that his hair was mussed, his shirt looked like it had been put on by someone else in a pitch-black room and there were a few pink marks on his neck and jaw. A disgusting thought bubbled to the front of her mind: the colour of the marks was the same as that of Marietta Edgecombe's lipstick. It was clear in Katie's mind that he had preserved all of the evidence on purpose. In fact, she wouldn't have put it past him to have rumpled his own hair on the walk back to the common room. In all of the years she had known him, George had never left any sign of his exploits. Now he was parading three about - four, if she counted the victorious smirk, and five if she were to use the expression on Lee's face as proof of the nature of the story George was now telling him. If she hadn't already sworn up and down that she didn't care how or with whom George spent his time, Katie would have hit him. Hard. And then yelled a bit. As she had, she made due with gazing up at Cormac and attempting to pay attention to his story.

"... and there we were, surrounded by manticores. My uncle and I were all for staying and fighting them off, but Rufus was of a mind to..."

Try as she might, Katie couldn't bring herself to listen to him for any extended period of time. She made do with making noises of approval, mostly "mhmm," whenever he paused for dramatic effect. The actual words were beginning to mush together in her mind, turning his monologue into a kind of dull roar. Rather than put any more effort into showing active interest in his story, Katie laced her fingers through his and moved her head to the slightly more comfortable area just below his collarbone. If it weren't for the volume of his voice, she would have closed her eyes and convincingly pretended to sleep. Instead, she took to observing the rest of the common room's inhabitants.

For a long while, the most interesting thing she saw was a small boy moulting yellow feathers. There was no one breaking rules too blatantly; the twins were relatively quiet. Not that she cared. Alicia and Angelina were a different story. She was interested in what they were doing, as she was still on speaking terms with them. Alicia, having had a flash of genius, had convinced Kenneth Towler to let her braid his hair. He looked none too pleased. His annoyance was understandable, as he had barely enough hair for her to even waste her time on it, but he was putting up with her ministrations. It was quite probable that he was only interested in getting laid, and almost everyone knew that submitting to Alicia's whims was one of the fastest ways to do that if she was having an I'm-fat-even-though-the-wind-could-blow-me-away day. Angelina, for her part, was entertaining Alicia, who was paying little to no attention to Kenneth past his curls. They were giggling - or Alicia was, at least - their conversation complete with whispering and shooting covert glances across the room. A good part of them were at Cormac and herself.

After a secretive exchange that looked like it was just a little too loud, theirs weren't the only eyes on her. As though he was checking the time, George casually looked up and took stock of just how tangled up with Cormac Katie was. The first thing that came to her mind was that his eyes were very blue. When she reminded herself that yes, they were, and that she had noted that when she first met him, another came forth. He looked a little like he was challenging her to do something. He had even made a point of baring a forming hickey.

Without a moment's hesitation, Katie pressed her lips to Cormac's, interrupting his soliloquy. In a rather out-of-character move, he didn't seem to mind. In fact, his sudden disregard for the fact that they were in public would have made her blush if she wasn't caught up in snogging him like there was no tomorrow. She justified her suddenly slightly whore-like behaviour with mental assurances that any girl would do the same thing, given the circumstances. He was quite possibly the most attractive Gryffindor male in her year, and his lips were nice. Not chapped like those of a certain person who had bigger things on his mind than maintaining supple skin.

"Bell! _McLaggen__!_"

Apparently, Kenneth had finished getting his hair done.

Cormac pulled just far enough away from her to speak. "Piss off, Towler. Can't you see I'm busy?"

Katie stared at the ceiling and willed herself to develop the power of invisibility. When that didn't work, she crossed her fingers and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for Kenneth to be distracted by some other mostly innocent party. Maybe the twins would draw the room's attention back to themselves once they realised what was happening. They'd never liked him, anyway, and generally took every opportunity to irritate him. Opening one eye, she looked past the lecturing Kenneth to the table that now had an overflowing box of sweets on it. Her newest hope was that they had resumed testing their products and someone would soon turn an unnatural colour and take the limelight.

After a few long moments of searching for mischief, her heart sank. Fred and Lee were on their own, playing a game of Exploding Snap and being distinctly uninteresting.

George was gone.

**Well. In my opinion, this one was a little bit of a dud. The next chapter is turning out to be much better, at least as far as I've written. If you're still here, thank you for reading!**


	4. Fly By

Quidditch try-outs were interesting. Somehow, Fred's younger, hyperventilating brother managed to block almost every shot taken. Even Alicia's final throw, aimed directly at his face, didn't shake him all that badly. He made it through the rest of his try-out, at least. While the next candidate for Keeper settled his nerves, she flew over to Katie. There was so much enthusiasm in her face that Katie was genuinely impressed that she made it within ten feet of her before words started spilling out of her mouth.

"If Cormac says he's the messiah of Keeping - which is a ridiculous thing to say, by the way, seeing as Oliver is currently revolutionising professional Quidditch - why isn't he here, trying out? Have you broken up? Is he avoiding you? Did you give him a private try-out? Is George black-mailing him? Or is it something else that's even more interesting?"

As was starting to happen more and more often, Katie stared at Alicia for a long while after she'd finished. Finally, and only because she looked so expectant, Katie managed, "I don't know."

Alicia slumped into her seat, feet swinging beneath her broom in a way that would have pitched a less experienced player off of theirs. It looked like she'd just been told her career aptitude test indicated that she would become Filch's successor. "Well, you should know. I know you don't really talk to him because you think he's annoying, but he talks. A lot. All of the time."

Before Katie could come up with an answer that wasn't made up of swears and wordless noises, the sound of Angelina's shiny new Captain's whistle pierced the air. The three Chasers - Katie, Alicia, and a third year full of false hope - flew back into a staggered formation. Angelina was just behind them, a pile of papers in her lap, quill ready. The twins were above, flitting about with bats in hand. Angelina whistled again. The five players were off, staging a one-sided battle against the unlucky fourth year before the goalposts.

An hour and twenty minutes later, everyone present was exhausted and all who had tried out were gathered on the stands, waiting for Angelina's decision. The team from the previous year - save Harry, who had landed himself in detention, royally pissing Angelina off in the process - had tried to congregate to choose a Keeper, but, much to their collective chagrin, Angelina had sent them to sit in the stands and wait with everyone else.

When she reached the far stand, Katie put as much distance between George and herself as was possible. Unfortunately, as soon as she dropped her guard, he slid into the seat beside hers and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She didn't pull away, but she stiffened to express that one, she would rather have been anywhere else, and two, she was perfectly capable of sitting without someone touching her, contrary to what everyone else seemed to think. Judging by his nonreaction, her displeasure didn't bother him. To better make her point, she said flatly, "I'm not speaking to you right now, so why don't you sit with someone who doesn't hate seeing your face?"

Again, her irritation didn't affect his smile. Speaking to the cold air in front of them, he said, "Where's your man-child? I was looking forward to being put into rapture by the stark beauty of his flight."

"I don't know." She'd been saying that a lot that afternoon, and she was starting to get sick of it, as evidenced by the crossness in her voice.

Both Katie and George were silent for a moment, watching Angelina consult the try-out evaluation sheets floating around her. In what was more than likely an attempt to keep her own interest; she had turned those she was through with into paper aeroplanes and set them looping through the air. Going on seven years of magical education and she'd finally made a clipboard out of the natural world.

"Katie-love."

Having been forcibly pulled out of her aeroplane-induced trance, Katie tilted her head back, stretching her neck as far as it could go, and stared at the clear sky. She refused to look at him, no matter how many stupid pet names he used.

"What?"

For a few seconds it seemed that he was putting serious thought into something. Then, "Now that I think about it, Fred and I did see McLaggen on our way here."

She didn't give an answer, just knocked her knee against his to indicate that she'd heard, and continued staring moodily at the few fluffy clouds scattered above them. There was no way she was going to give him a segue into revealing whatever vital information he was planning on sharing with her. Not that that would stop him, but she wasn't going to willingly enable him.

Just as she suspected, after a moment's pause he said, "It would seem that he'd eaten some doxy eggs. I guess that no one ever told him that, among other things, they make your reproductive system itch."

Having already forgotten that she had decided not to speak with him, she said slowly, "Doxy eggs? Where the hell did he find those?"

"In the boys' dormitory. We were having a powwow."

Slowly, she was beginning to understand why he was still smirking. "You and Fred gave him doxy eggs."

"We _had_ doxy eggs and he took them for his own selfish use," he corrected her, patting her knee. "We worked hard to get those things, we don't give them to just any prick who comes asking."

"You poisoned him." The clouds had lost her interest.

"All I did was suggest that it was fairly probable that he wouldn't be able to eat a whole pound and survive." The way his eyes were closed - as though it pained him to see anything but his own eyelids - indicated that he was quite offended that she could even consider holding him responsible. After a dramatic pause, he opened them and levelled Katie with a serious look. "Do you really think you should be associating with someone who takes 'you'll die if you eat that' as 'shove it all in your mouth'? I don't."

The meaning of his answer took a while to sink in. Of course Cormac would have eaten them. Doubting his manliness was enough to make him do anything. Fred and George didn't like him to begin with - no one did, really - so neither would have had any qualms with goading Cormac into eating something highly toxic. Adding in that he had kissed Katie had only helped his chances of being on the receiving end of one of the two's helpful suggestions. She couldn't believe that they would do something so utterly stupid. Honestly, they were two of the biggest idiots she had ever met, and she'd had Gilderoy Lockhart as a professor.

Katie slapped his hand away from her knee and tried to stand up. It didn't quite work, as he was still pinning her against him. She made due with yelling, "You! Poisoned! Him!" Every word was punctuated with a hit to his legs. She was too angry to make them hurt. "You! Stupid! Jealous! Wanker!"

Still calm, he caught both of her hands in his and held them in mid-air. Apparently, he didn't enjoy being attacked, even by someone whose method of targeting resulted in her occasionally bashing her own hands into the bench beneath them. "Did not. And don't worry, I'm sure he'll soon be up to shoving his tongue down your throat."

After a few more seconds of violently attempting to free herself, Katie yelled, "Why can't you just," his grip on one of her wrists failed and she quickly pried open the fingers wrapped around the other, "leave us alone? Just _piss off__!_"

"Chaser, Katie Bell!"

Katie was in the air before she could force a breath between her clenched teeth. Without meaning to, Angelina had just split up what was shaping up to be an uncharacteristically serious fight. Katie and George fought enough over silly, meaningless things that people had begun to ignore Katie's yelling, but never before had she been left having to wipe her eyes with her sleeve in order to fly properly. George's being lost for words was new as well. Normally he came back with something witty before the last word was through with leaving Katie's mouth.

He recovered from his slightly dumbfounded condition quickly. She couldn't fly away fast enough to miss: "Fine. Give the stupid bastard my regards."

It wasn't even funny.

**Oh, wangst. It'll end soon, I promise. Thank you for reading!**


	5. Body Doubles

By some combination of maturity and suppressed vindictiveness, Katie managed to have a civil conversation with George the next time she saw him. Hoping to get in and out before other people would be there, she had gone up to the Hospital Wing while all of the normal people of Hogwarts were eating breakfast. She'd assumed that she wouldn't see anyone but a few overzealous first years on the walk up. She was wrong.

The door was only a meter or two away when George came strutting around the corner. Rather than run and hide in the library all day like she wanted to, she forced herself to keep walking. Maybe he wasn't fully awake yet and wouldn't recognise her until she was already out of the corridor. Maybe he would pretend not to see her so as to avoid a potential argument. Maybe he would silently give her a letter of apology because he knew the sound of his voice would only anger her farther.

"Katie!"

Or not.

After failing at faking a smile, Katie turned her head just far enough to see him and continued going towards the door. With an approximation of a nod of recognition, she answered, "George."

"Do you," a strange look passed over his face before he returned his expression to a lopsided smile that she assumed was meant to be charming, "know if we have practise tonight?"

Her fingers closed around the doorknob. Relief washed over her. Her escape was near. "I don't think we do."

"Okay." George passed by her - it wasn't all that long of a walk from the corner to where she was standing - staying far enough away that there was no chance of them touching. It didn't look as though he was doing it on purpose; the distance between them could easily have been ascribed to the fact that she was pressed against the door. "See you around the castle."

Katie gave a small jerk of a wave and backed into the infirmary. Why would he be on the third floor at eight in the morning? He'd never been much of a seeking-extra-help person - something about the whole not wanting to admit academic defeat thing - so the classrooms on the floor were out. He'd always hated the suspension bridge, and there was no reason for him to be using the one-eyed witch passage that early in the morning. There was no explanation for his presence in the corridor other than his being a fundamentally strange person.

All thoughts of George were pushed out of her mind by the sight of Cormac. He was splayed across a bed like he'd been pushed onto it, but judging by how hard he was sleeping, that wasn't likely. There was a pillow shoved haphazardly beneath his head. He had on a messily tied hospital gown. Without any guilt, Katie laughed. It wasn't as though he could hear her.

Madam Pomfrey sat on the bed across from his looking rather cross. She shot Katie an exhausted, irritated look and informed her that Cormac had been sedated to keep him from trying to leave or waking the other patients up with wildly exaggerated tales of his poisoning. Unfortunately, she added, he was probably going to regain conciousness in a short while.

Katie had about four minutes to be reminded of how handsome he was when he wasn't talking before he woke up and Madam Pomfrey hurried back to her office. With what he probably thought was a roguish grin, he said, "I knew you wouldn't be able to keep away from me for long." Then he winked. It was a wink that said, 'I'm giving you a huge treat by continuing to exist. You're welcome.' The second she came up with a mildly plausible excuse - "I have to go clean my owl" - she kissed him half-heartedly to shut him up and left. She didn't even own an owl. Owls didn't actually need to be cleaned, for the most part. He probably didn't know either of those things.

Now that she was finished with the obligatory visit to her substitute boyfriend, the next order of business was breakfast. Or, it would have been had she not come across an unmistakable ginger on the staircase between the third and second floors. She stopped dead in her tracks. He was facing away from her, so, if she turned around and found another way down, he wouldn't see her. But that would mean giving him a victory in their unspoken battle of attrition, and there was no way she was going to do that. Loudly, she said, "Did you seriously wait out here the whole time I was with Cormac?"

She would have said more, but he had turned around in the middle of her question. It wasn't George.

Fred stared at her with some concern. "I sincerely hope you're using 'with' to mean 'visiting,' because if not, I may need you to go scrub yourself off before I can be seen with you."

"Oh," was all Katie could think of to say.

"Sit with me." He extended his arm and nodded in the stairs' general direction. Katie stayed right where she was. After a moment or so of waiting for her to move, he took the initiative and dragged her to where he had been standing and down onto a stair, clarifying "That was a command. I know they're difficult for you and I was being insensitive to your independent streak, and for that I apologize."

When they were both seated on one of the wide stairs, Katie began to ask a question. Fred cut her off before the first syllable was out. "I need you to do something for me."

The combination of that phrase and Fred never turned out well. With all of the hesitance that is necessary for dealing with the twins, Katie said, "What?"

"Before I tell you, I need to ask you a question." He put a hand on her knee and squeezed as if to preemptively assure her of his good intentions and said, "How do you feel about Marietta Edgecombe?"

"I don't," she answered after a short pause. In reality, she wanted to rip Marietta's obnoxiously curly hair out by the roots and then burn it and throw the ashes off of the Astronomy tower. However, she knew that if she told Fred that George would find out that she was jealous. Not that she was. She was just sick of Marietta's stupid answers and incessant giggling in History of Magic. "I have a few classes with her, but I don't really think about her on my own time."

"Katie Bell," he said, eyeing her over, "You're a dirty liar."

Fred's sudden smile was infectious. Katie had missed him in the few days that they had been separated by George and his moodiness. "I am, aren't I? I kind of hate her guts."

He simultaneously clapped his hands and leapt up from the stairs, spinning in mid-air, leaving Katie a bit dazed and very concerned for his sanity. Squinting up at him, she said, "Why?"

Cheerfully, he answered, "Because I think I may transfigure her into a naked mole rat," Katie leaned further away from him at his unconventional choice of animal, "if I have to hear her laughing while George and I are trying to work for any longer, and that's generally frowned upon. With you as an accomplice, I won't have to resort to selling her to a pet shop. Are you willing to help?"

Katie still looked like Fred had suddenly sprouted another head. Spontaneous jumping into the air tended to leave her very bemused. Then again, it _was_ Fred, and what more could she expect from him? Because he seemed to want her to answer him, she said, "Sure."

"Brilliant!" he shouted. The size of his grin was beginning to look painful. "I have a plan."

**I am so, so very sorry that this took so long. I'm about halfway through the next chapter, so hopefully it'll be up in a reasonable amount of time. Thanks for waiting and reading!**


	6. An Unwilling Alliance

Fred's plan was a combination of idiocy and reliance on very specific coincidences with a dash of teenage hormones thrown in for flair. After briefly outlining it – he refused to tell Katie exactly what was going to happen, so as to avoid ruining the surprise – he reassured her that it was fairly likely it would work exactly like they wanted it to. However, 'fairly likely' wasn't near enough for her to go along with it, and it would never ever be enough for her to ingest any potion that had been his trunk for _eight__ months__,_ even if it had only been there for safe-keeping.

"No."

"It'll work," he told her for the fifth time in the past forty minutes. He had spent the majority of their free period pestering her with overly enthusiastic whispers.

"No," she said flatly. She resumed attempting to read the assigned pages of her Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook. It didn't take very long for her to conclude that she wasn't going to finish any time soon. She could only take so much condescension before there was a danger of her throwing the contents of her DADA supplies into a fire, and Umbridge probably wouldn't take that very well. She closed the book and stuffed it into her bag.

He changed tactics. "When have I ever led you astray?"

"Quiet, Mr. Weasley."

It was extremely unlikely that Professor Sinistra actually cared whether or not Fred was talking, but she was trying her best to keep the Hall up to its the new standards, and the students, as a whole if not individually, respected that. Fred saluted her, then leaned close enough to Katie that his chest was pressing against her shoulder and muttered, "When have I ever lead you astray?"

"At every opportunity." Borrowing one of his favourite strategies for winning arguments, Katie went on before he could answer, "Remember the time I got three weeks of detention and lost thirty points because you convinced me to help you steal pixies from Lockhart?" Professor Sinistra raised an eyebrow at her, and Katie continued in a whisper, "Or how about when you pulled me into a mud puddle at practice, apologised, told me I could use the good shower first, and then stole my clothes from the locker room?"

"That's the worst you could come up with?" He coughed and smiled, trying to convince her he hadn't said anything. It didn't come anywhere close to working."What I meant was that all of my previous wrongdoings are cancelled out by the help I'm giving you in regaining your throne as the love interest of my slightly less attractive brother." He poked her gently in the ribs and smiled wider as though he expected her to join him in the wonderful world of happy facial expressions at any moment. "Besides, Oliver let you take one of the nice towels to wear back to the castle."

Katie began an essay for Charms, her tiny handwriting detailing advanced wand theory about four times slower than usual. Fred continued to bombard her with assurances of his plan's brilliance and declarations of his undying love. He also repeatedly knocked her quill out of her hand. Halfway through her introductory paragraph, she was seriously considering hexing him into a pile of goo. "If I help you, will you shut up about it and leave me alone?"

"As much as is humanly possible," he said. He looked like he'd just won the lottery without buying a ticket beforehand. Either he disliked Marietta a whole lot more than he was letting on or Katie had just made a terrible decision. She was willing to bet on the latter. The first rule of Hogwarts had been 'never trust the Weasley twins' since before she'd started there, and with good reason.

* * *

As it turned out, Cormac McLaggen tasted a little like chocolate. Katie had never taken Polyjuice potion before, and hadn't been too keen on having to drink it out of a flask that Fred had apparently bought for the express purpose of storing shady concoctions, but the taste did help. However, she still hadn't quite grasped why she had to be Cormac instead of someone logical and of her gender, like Marietta. Fred's only answer to her many questions had been, "Trust me." Unlikely.

The transformation was excruciating, and the pain wasn't at all assuaged by Fred's laughter after her bones had finished reconfiguring. "Now that I've seen McLaggen in a skirt, I can die happy," he said, staring at her legs a bit more than was necessary. To simultaneously defend Cormac's and her own honour - for whatever esoteric reason her subconscious had come up with, as she didn't really care what people thought of his body - she punched Fred in the arm. It actually seemed to smart. That was an accomplishment she had very rarely achieved in her own body. Even stranger than her new strength was her sudden growth of about a foot and the completely new set of bits in her now-too-tight pants. Bloke's bodies were odd to inhabit.

"I hate you," she said matter-of-factly. Then, not so matter-of-factly, "Wow. This is really weird."

Her voice was a few octaves lower than she had expected. She wanted to try singing something, but neither she nor Cormac could carry a tune, so she scrapped that idea. Fred just laughed again, completely disregarding her discomfort, and threw a men's uniform at her.

She went farther into the passageway - that of the One-Eyed Witch - where it was dark enough to change. She tried unsuccessfully to not look down while changing her pants. Things were going to get very awkward if she ever again saw Cormac naked. The general situation down there was not at all attractive from her current perspective.

When she finished struggling with her tie and returned to the front of the passageway, Fred was Cho Chang.

"I'm concerned for your sanity," said Katie. He hadn't said anything about plans for him to gender-bend with her. Her decision to go along with his idea seemed worse with every passing second.

Widening his - her? - eyes in an eerily accurate imitation of Cho, Fred answered, "Cormac?"

Katie rolled her eyes. It felt _almost_ natural, but hearing Cormac's voice when she spoke was still odd. "Really?"

"What?" He sounded confused. "Why are you in here?"

There was no answer Katie could come up with that didn't involve calling him some combination of extremely inappropriate names.

Fred ran a hand through his long, black hair, presumably because no girls wanted him to touch their heads and he was making up for lost time, and said, "I was walking to the Entrance Hall when one of the Weasleys caught me in the corridor and told me I needed to come with him to the Gunhilda statue, but he didn't actually follow me down here. I probably shouldn't have listened to him, yeah? Are you who he wanted me to see?"

"Shut up, Fred." Leave it to him to do something stupid like pretending to be Cho as soon as Katie started trusting him with her health.

His eyes grew even wider. "Cormac? Are you okay?"

"Fuck." Katie swept her eyes over the floor and looked around Cho for any possible escape route. There wasn't one that didn't involve knocking her over. Pushing her wasn't totally out of the question, though; Katie had never really been a fan of Cho's, and her irritation with the other girl had only gotten worse since the Triwizard Tournament. The crying was excessive. But her thoughts were digressing. "Er. I have to go now."

An inexplicable grin lit up Cho's face. "Just messing with you, Katie Kate."

"I hate you."

"You say that a lot," said Fred. He began to leave the passageway, looking back over his shoulder to keep eye contact. It was very doubtful that Cho had ever looked at her for a length of time anywhere near what Fred regularly achieved."It stopped affecting me about halfway through my second year, but it's always lovely to hear that I inspire such strong emotion. Would it be fair if I took 'I hate you' as 'I love you so much that English fails to describe my feelings'?"

"Seriously, though," said Katie. "I hate you. Mostly for the Cho thing, but also because you convinced me to turn into McLaggen and haven't even told me all of what we're doing."

Without sparing a second for thought, Fred answered, "Don't worry. It'll work."

If he wasn't walking away faster than Katie thought was safe in Cormac's body, she would have pointed out that he had been saying that almost as often as she was expressing her hatred of him. Or have hit him again. However, in the time that it took her to formulate an answer, she was alone in the corridor. As McLaggen. Shit.

**I am exceedingly full of updating fail and for that I apologise. Anyhow, thanks for bearing with me and reading!**


	7. Shot Heard Round the Grounds

It was very, very strange for George to look anything resembling ugly, but he was managing to do just that when Katie walked into the common room. She'd seen him honestly angry before, but never to the extent that his jaw was clenched so tight it looked like his teeth were about to be pulverized. Generally, Katie found his moody periods quite entertaining – he had a penchant for melodrama – but there was nothing remotely funny about the disgust that was burning in his eyes. Maybe that was because none of his glares had ever been directed at her.

Except that she wasn't her. She was Cormac. As quickly as was possible, Katie turned her slightly terrified stupor into his cocky swagger. She assumed it worked, as a few fourth year girls started eyeing her up. That was unnerving, to say the least.

"Weasley," she called across the room, strutting towards him. Her volume caused a number of people to cut off their conversations and scowl at her. 'All eyes will be on me' was one of Cormac's rules for life, and if she was going to be convincing, she would have to follow it.

After waiting for as long as he possibly could without starting to look like a deliberate arsehole, George looked at Katie with what almost passed for a smile and said, "Yes, McLaggen?"

When she was close enough that only people who were trying to listen in would hear her, she said, "You're Katie's friend, right?"

"I didn't think it was that obvious! You must either be extremely observant or good at making lucky guesses."

"Don't be a smartarse, Weasley."

"Can't help it." A smile curled one corner of George's mouth. He leaned against an overstuffed chair and casually crossed his arms. "You wanted something?"

Katie leaned in before replying. Cormac had never understood personal space."You're going to have to promise to keep this just between us. Sensitive business and all that."

George didn't answer, just stared at her with one eyebrow raised. It occurred to her that Cormac had probably stopped using the word 'promise' when he was about ten. Oh well. It was too late for her to take it back without risking sounding even less like him. She affected a look of impatience and said, "Well, do you?"

"Fine, yeah. I promise."

Rummaging around in her pocket – why were the pockets in boys' trousers so much bigger? - she said, "I found a few things around my bed that aren't mine, and I was wondering if you could tell me if they're hers. The blokes got tired of my trophies years ago. You know how that is." She winked. George was unamused.

"Hand it over, then." He held a hand out, waggling his fingers. Having finally located it in her ridiculously spacious pocket, Katie deposited a messy package onto his palm. Looking deeply unimpressed, he unwrapped it, then said, "I didn't know you collected women's underwear."

She did her best to look annoyed. "Are they hers or not?"

"I'm not sure what you think my extracurricular activities are, but I'd like to assure you that none of them include handling Katie's skivvies for longer than it takes to get them off of her." _Liar_. They'd slept in the same bed a few times, much to her embarrassment, and he'd never so much as kissed anything but her forehead, let alone tried to get into her pants. Anyone but her would never have been able to tell he was lying, though.

"There's my problem," she said. "I've boffed her in broad daylight and I still can't recognise these."

"No, you haven't." George's knuckles were turning white.

"You think so?" She cuffed his shoulder and took the opened package of underwear from him. "Maybe you should try talking to her more often."

He stared at her for a moment. With difficulty, he said through his teeth, "Are you keeping those for proof or are you planning on wearing them?"

"Very funny, Weasley." Katie back away slowly, trying her best not to fall over Cormac's giant feet. "But if they're not Katie's, I think it would be in everyone's best interest if I gave them to Marietta."

Apparently, even while using someone else's mouth, Katie was able to unintentionally switch to Greek in the middle of a sentence. George stared blankly at her. Slowly, he said, "Marietta Edgecombe?"

"None other." Katie was well out of reach now and still moving towards the exit. With as big a smirk as she could muster while George was looking like he wanted to push her out of the tower, she said, "Remember now, this is all just between us. Wouldn't want to break Katie's little heart, would we, Georgie?"

For a long moment, Katie walked towards the portrait hole and George stared at her back. There was a crash, and she looked over her shoulder just in time to see him lunge, only to be stopped by a suspiciously convenient Lee. He jerked his head towards the portrait hole as if he was encouraging her to go while she was safe from bodily harm. She went. She went quickly. As she got closer and closer to escape, her inner monologue changed from _keep going keep going I'm going to die keep going_ to _holy shit, it's working._

At least, it had been working until George got out of Lee's hold.

A second year boy whom Katie had seen Fred talking to that morning rushed past her and started asking George a very loud and urgent question, allowing Katie make it into the corridor with as much speed as Cormac's inordinately large body allowed. The sound of laughter echoed around the far corner of the corridor, so she went the opposite way, nearly tripping over her own feet. When she came to a alcove, she half-fell into it. Once her breathing had slowed enough that she didn't sound like an eighty-year-old attempting a marathon, she leaned forward and peered around the wall.

The source of the sound had come around into the Fat Lady's stretch of the corridor. A mess of obnoxiously curly hair was the first thing she saw; a cocky grin was the next. Marietta and the real Cormac. Taking up the rear was a Cho. Katie had no idea if it was Fred or the actual Cho, but judging by their timing, she'd say it was Fred. If so, his plan was actually working. That was unexpected.

Seconds later, George burst through the portrait hole. Before anyone could completely register his arrival, his fist smashed into Cormac's face.

Marietta screamed, her head whipping back and forth between George and Cormac as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. The latter, dazed, bleeding from the nose, and dangerously close to falling over, made a noise halfway between a groan and a wheeze. The former, redder with every passing second, shook his hand out and then punched Cormac again for good measure. Marietta screamed a second time, finally finding her words. "What are you doing?"

George took a moment to make sure Cormac wasn't going to move from his seat on the ground any time soon, then answered lightly, "Tossing you, and hitting that dickhead like I've wanted to for a while now."

It had worked. Fred's plan had actually worked, doubtful as it had been. At least, she assumed it had worked, as Fred had never told her how exactly it was supposed to turn out. All he had told her to do at that point was stay out of sight until the Polyjuice potion wore off. She cast a Disillusionment Charm, pressed herself against the wall, and tried to stop smiling. Her pseudo-boyfriend had just been more or less knocked out for something he hadn't even done. She shouldn't have enjoyed it, but she did, and she almost felt bad about it. Almost.

**Fail fail fail fail. I didn't even check this one for typos. However, I thank you for reading!**


	8. Winning the Battle AND the War

The first thing Katie did when she was a girl again was change into the skirt she had been keeping in one of her giant pockets. She hadn't worn trousers for a few weeks, and that was only if jeans were counted as trousers, and she didn't really want to start with a pair that was about three times too big. The men's shirt and tie she kept on, though. If Fred knew what he was doing, that would end well. She didn't bother with attempting to hide the discarded trousers and shorts, just rolled them up and left them in the alcove. Whoever found them would probably be extremely confused about who was running around half-naked, but that was their problem.

Cormac was still on the floor when Katie turned the corner. He seemed all right, if a bit bloody, but Marietta took no notice of that. She had torn the cuff off of one of his sleeves and was dabbing at his wounds with it, all while looking like she'd witnessed a war crime. Cho - Fred? - was nowhere to be found.

"You!" Marietta was suddenly furious. Katie hadn't the slightest idea why.

"Yes?"

"George hit him!" she cried. Cormac waved to acknowledge that he was the 'him' in question. He didn't look in pain so much as he did perplexed that someone had actually punched him. Really, he should have seen it coming.

Marietta was still staring at Katie with malice in her overly made-up eyes, waiting for an answer.

"So?" said Katie. She picked at the skin next to her thumbnail to keep her hands occupied. "I'm not actually responsible for him."

"Oh, please." Abandoning all pretenses of nursing Cormac, Marietta stood up and took a few steps towards her. She was pretty tall, Katie noted, though that could just have been due to the painful-looking heels she was wearing. "We all know he does whatever you want. Except for fancy you, but that's not for lack of trying on your end. It's clear that you would just love for him to come round and confess that he likes you. Unfortunately for you, he has absolutely no reason to."

"Not true." Both girls turned to look at Cormac. Somehow, he was managing to look attractive while sitting on the floor, bleeding, and running his mouth. "She's got a decent arse. Nice tits, as well." All Katie could do in response was blink. "Mouth's not too bad either, though it is open a far sight more than I would like."

And there went the attractiveness.

Katie breathed deeply through her nose while she tried to keep herself from doing anything stupider than allowing Fred to get her into this in the first place, then said, "Shut up, you stupid wanker."

Marietta was scowling heavily. It wasn't a good look for her. "You're not nearly pretty enough to talk to him like that."

"Again, not true. She can talk to me however she'd—"

"Shut up, Cormac!" Surprisingly, that one was from Marietta.

Unable to stop staring at Marietta like she was a mutated spider threatening to attack, Katie made her way towards the Fat Lady. It appeared that she had slept through the whole thing.

"Well?" How had Katie never noticed before just how annoying Marietta's voice was when she was irritated? The way she had her hand on her hip wasn't too endearing either.

Not entirely sure was she was supposed to be answering, Katie said, "What?"

"Why'd you tell George to attack Cormac?" Katie didn't know how Marietta had gotten back to that. "Couldn't handle him on your own anymore?"

"... what?"

Marietta ignored her. She seemed to be on a roll. "And why did you tell him to break up with me? Did you finally catch on that he likes me better than he likes you? Or are you just a complete bitch like I've always thought you were?"

Normally, Katie would have gotten angry and yelled back. However, the sight of George hitting Cormac still had her quite content. Her only answer was, "You're unpleasant. You might want to work on that." Then, before Marietta could reply, Katie faced the Fat Lady and said loudly, "Candy floss!"

The portrait swung open and Katie climbed through without looking back.

The first thing she saw was Fred and Lee. They were sitting on either side of George, pulling him back down onto the couch whenever he made an attempt to get up. Alicia sat in an armchair nearby, staring at them like they had just said professional Quidditch players were overrated. Angelina was on the far side of the room, reading a book and attempting to disassociate herself from the lot of them.

"Katie Kate!"

Fred smiled brightly and gave her a jaunty wink. It was a wonder that he kept any secrets, ever. His twin looked slightly less pleased. As Katie walked closer, he seemed to notice that her shirt wasn't exactly meant for girls. After another go at standing up, he yelled, "Whose shirt is that?"

It was quite possible that Katie's expression made her look like a rabbit faced with a werewolf. It was only partially intentional. She walked the last few feet to Alicia's armchair gingerly and grabbed onto its back. If all else failed, she could use Alicia as a tiny, blonde shield. Slowly, she answered, "Cormac."

Alicia perked up at his name. "George just punched him in the face. Poor thing." Apparently, she had already forgotten the tirade she'd gone on yesterday after Cormac had questioned Angelina's qualifications for her captaincy, as she actually looked like she felt bad for him. "By the way, what does that shirt smell like?"

"Not the time," said Lee. He rested one ankle on the other leg's knee, casually blocking one of George's escape routes. "Weird question, but not the time for it."

Dejected, Alicia sunk back into her chair. No one noticed, though, as George was turning a deep tomato colour and and threatening to explode. When he collected himself enough to speak, he sounded surprisingly calm. "Is that McLaggen's newest way of showing everyone that you're his, then?"

"Since when am I Cormac's?" said Katie, coming around Alicia's armchair towards the couch.

"McLaggen's," corrected Fred.

"Not helping," said both Lee and Alicia. The latter looked slightly put-out at having her thunder stolen. Fred mimed zipping his lips.

George chose not to answer Katie's question, going instead with, "Since when do you wear other people's clothes, let alone that tosser's?"

Her voice reaching new levels of volume, Katie yelled back, "Since when do you _care__?_"

A good number of heads were turned in her direction. Fred, looking pleased as punch with how things were going, leaned closer to George, who was now violently scarlet, and said, "Would you like to get up now?" He released his hold on George's arm, and Lee followed suit. George leapt to his feet. In about one-and-a-half steps, he was towering over Katie, close enough that their shoes were touching.

"_I _don't _care__!_" he roared.

Katie rose up on her tiptoes in an attempt to match his height - something that he had always made fun of her for. "_Really__? _Because you're acting an awful lot like you do."

Neither spoke. They glared at each other, both of them breathing heavily. George's fists were clenched, and Katie seemed poised to hit him. The entire common room was watching. She felt like her face was burning.

Fred broke the silence, saying loudly, "Would you two kiss already?"

They did. Before Katie could process what was happening, she was in George's arms. They'd kissed once before, at the Quidditch World Cup, where they'd literally run into each other heading back to their tents after the game. This was nothing like that. They'd both been a little drunk then, and it was more like a high-five gone amiss than a real kiss. Now, neither of them seemed to be able to get close enough or kiss hard enough. Katie's arms were flung around George's neck; he had one hand on the small of her back and the other at her neck, holding her to him. Breathing was becoming difficult. Someone moaned. She couldn't tell who, nor did she care. She just wanted his lips to never, ever leave hers.

"You can be done now," said Fred, nudging George in the back. "Alicia's getting far more excited than is healthy for the rest of us."

George pulled away just far enough that he could speak without the words getting lost against Katie's lips. He was smiling like an idiot. She was sure she was doing the same.

Arm back, batting at the air until he hit Fred then pushing him away, George said, "Piss off, will you, Forge?"

**I know, I know. I apologise for the wait. Thank you to anyone who's still reading!**


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